"A Candle Loses Nothing By Lighting Another Candle" - Father James Keller

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Don't Judge Me!

I say this all the time, there are so many genres because there are so many different types of readers. It would be ridiculous to expect everyone to like what you write, no matter what genre it is. My husband and I, both English teachers (well he teaches and says I retired LOL), don’t read the same stories at all. I read romance in all of it’s forms along with the occasional self-help book, and he reads Holocaust Literature basically whether non-fiction or fiction. He makes comments often about reading my writing, and my answer is why would you? You wouldn't volunteer to read any other romance. And that's fine. 

Yes, I’m making a point here about judging, just give me a few paragraphs to get there LOL I feel I am a romance writer. The majority of my stories falling under the erotic romance category. But my stories verses the mainstream romances on book shelves is really just about the depth of the description, well and in my case overuse of profanity at times. It’s how I stand on my soap box most of the time. I pull out the f-bomb if I see a character judging another. This judging this is the point, but I have another example, or two, first ;) Yeah, I’m wordy!

Within each genre lies differences as well. I love paranormal romances, but not all of them by any means. Use the vampire for example, everyone has an opinion on how one should be. So, I don’t like all vampire stories, but now I do prefer them hot, and I mean sexy hot *winks* What I am getting at though, is that it is the same for the erotic genre. There are so many different types, styles, and heat levels. I myself don’t like to read all of the erotic stories, but I don’t have a problem with them being out there.  What I do have a problem with is two things.

One I hate when it all gets lumped together and judged by people who know nothing about it. The it being erotic or erotic romance. It’s an art form like any other., a form of expression. And two, I don’t like it when people try to draw lines in the sand, saying that this erotic book is okay and this one is not. How can you possibly draw a line? Have I read erotic stories that have offended me – sure, but probably not for the reason you think *giggles*. Will I stop reading the genre, or writing in the genre because of it – NO WAY!

Truthfully, I didn’t set out to write in the erotic genre, well because this small town girl didn’t even know it existed. But when I moved and drove by my first Ellora’s Cave truck, well I looked into it. I saw a submission call, wrote a story unable to sleep one night, had husband read and encourage me to sub it just to see what they would say, and a contract later, I was a paranormal erotic romance writer. And in the last several years have come to appreciate what erotic writing truly is. I’ve met some wonderful people too, but then not all so wonderful…

When I first got published it got real old real fast getting judged not only by complete strangers, the people in the town I live in, acquaintances I no longer talk to, friends I no longer talk to, but even family members I no longer talk to – and I really hate the ones who just think we should be around each other but not speak about what I do for a living.

My point in that rant is that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, or it’s blurb, or by its keywords for heavens sake. You have to read it. And, if you read it, and you decide you don’t like it – that’s fine, but you don’t have to pull it off the virtual shelves either. Move on. Anyone remember the phrase, To each his own? It is our differences that make the world go round. Erotic Romance, Sexual Preference, Religious Affiliation…When are people going to get it, stop judging and start understanding or at the very least, just let the person and what they like be :( Agree to disagree. It’s funny, it has become a discussion in my home once or twice in how easy it is to form a prejudice against those who are so judgmental, but then that makes you just as bad right? Thing is, they keep throwing their thoughts in my face unasked for, their opinions on what I write. But, I’m not telling them how to live their lives, what job to take, what way to think. Think I’m bad, fine. I don’t need to hear about it, and I deserve the right to continue to do what I do.

I can hear you saying, but none of your books have been removed, you don’t write “that” True, I don’t. But I don’t judge those who do, wouldn’t dare because I know all too well what it feels like. But I know some wonderful authors, have read some wonderful authors, whose books have been removed. And, you start drawing lines in the sand, and it is only a matter of time before you get to me too.  Where does it stop? So, should it really get started?


  1. So well said lady! And so very true. Rock on sister!

  2. I love this post..thank you. Everyone has a right to read what they wish and authors have the right to write what the like. I read and write very Hot Erotica but I also enjoy lighter Erotica too. Judging someone by what they do or don't do is wrong. Life is short..let people do their thing and enjoy your own life too. People tend to blame others or "things" but we have to be responsible for ourselves. If you dont like something don't read it again, but dont judge and "ban" it.
    This was awesome to read.

  3. Two words honey...BLOODY BRILLIANT!

    *bites n kisses*

  4. We readers are very picky. I personally prefer to read historical romances where the girl is virginal and the guy all rogue and alpha. That's why when I hear that oh, they aren't looking for any more vamp books, I laugh because when we readers like something - we read a lot of it.


In accordance with the new FTC Guidelines for blogging and endorsements, Kiki Howell of An Author's Musings, would like to advise that in addition to purchasing my own books to review, I also receive books, and/or promotional materials, free of charge in return for an honest review, as do any guest reviewers.